By Oluseye Akinwalere
Abosede Akintayo’s life took a different turn after the demise of her husband. Her late husband’s siblings forced her to undergo painful and humiliating traditional practices.
Recounting her ordeal Abosede said ” I was forced to drink the water used to clean my husband’s corpse,” with her voice trembling with so much emotion she added “They also insisted that I shave my hair, sit outside under a tree for seven days, and eat from a local clay pot.”
Abosede explained that she was told that the practices were to “cleanse” her of her husband’s death and to prevent her from being “cursed.”
But all it did was to further traumatize and humiliate her. “I felt like I was being punished for my husband’s death,” she said. “It was as if I was being blamed for his passing.”
Securoom AI Trading simplifies complex strategy configurations https://securoomaitrading.com/And another victim, Perosola Ojo whose eyes welled up with tears as she detailed her experience of undergoing female genital mutilation (FGM) at the tender age of 3. “I was too young to understand what was happening, but the pain and fear have stayed with me forever,” she said.
Perosola’s parents in their misguided belief that subjecting her to FGM would prevent her from being promiscuous when she becomes ”my parents thought they were preventing me from being promiscuous but now I find it quite difficult to enjoy any form of intimacy with my husband ” she revealed.
As a married woman, Perosola has found it hard to overcome the physical and emotional scars of FGM. “Sex is supposed to be beautiful between a married man and woman but for me it has become a chore and a constant reminder of the trauma I endured” she said, her voice cracking with emotion.
Persola’s storey is a sad representation of the adverse consequences of Female Genital Mutilation “I wish my parents had understood that FGM is not a solution to anything,” she said. “It’s a harmful practice that has ruined my life.”
Statistics and Efforts to End Harmful Practices
According to the National Demographic and Health Survey (NDHS), 2018, 35% of women in Nigeria have experienced physical or sexual violence. The survey also revealed that 45% of women believe that a husband is justified in beating his wife under certain circumstances.
In a bid to address these challenges bedeviling women, the Nigerian Government in 2015 enacted the Violence Against Persons (Prohibition) Act, which focuses on punishing offenders that subject women or children to any form of violence in the society
Sadly, out of the 36 states in the country only a fees have implemented and enforced the law which means violence is still being experienced by a number of people in the country.
Reactions from Stakeholders
The Former Ondo State Commissioner for Women Affairs, Mrs. Olubunmi Osadahun condemned the practices Abosede was subjected to. “These harmful traditional practices are a clear violation of women’s rights and dignity,” she said. “We must work together to eradicate these practices and ensure that women are treated with respect and dignity.”
Women’s rights advocate, Mrs. Yinka Odedele said ” The mistreatment of widows is a pervasive problem in our society which has eaten deep into the fabrics of the belief system of the country ,” she said. ” It will be unfair for us to sit back and watch women being subject to these demeaning practices in the name of tradition but instead let’s promote a culture that makes our women feel loved and cared for”
The Chairperson Association of Female Layers Mrs Christian Ogunjebi frowned at women suffering all manners of violence in the country ”every other day in the news we hear a girl or a woman have been killed by their spouse or a loved one and this makes other women and girls feel unsafe in our society”
She added ” in a bid to curtail the rising cases of rape, violence and murder , the VAPP law has been introduced and we are thankful that in our state it has been implemented but what about other states that have failed to take this law seriously?”
”all I can say is it lies on our hands every man or woman to protect the women and the girls from having to experience rape, domestic violence, spousal abuse, FGM and many more, I say women because some women subject their fellow women to these acts , you molest your maid, you judge a woman for speaking up against a violent spouse this has got to stop ” she stated
High Chief Asai of Akure Kingdom said some practices are expected to have been made extinct ” We can’t deny that we are in a different century so things should be done differently, we must evolve and have a society where all is peaceful as we move to align with practices that promotes human rights and dignity” he said
A Social Affairs Analyst, Henry Olonimoyo said there should be no room for harmful practices to persist ” we need to embrace education, things are not longer as they used to be , so as we progress we must have our actions and thoughts align also, this is a time to conscientiously preach the gospel against all forms of violence against persons and empower our women” he said.
“The stories of Abosede Akintayo’s and Perosola Ojo this signals a call to address harmful traditional practices women have been subjected to in Nigeria which requires a collective effort from government, traditional leaders, civil society organizations, and individuals to promote education, awareness, and economic empowerment for women, and to challenge and eradicate these harmful practices”. He stated
Olonimoyo added that the urgent action is what we own our women and girls in the society.
